gold94chica on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/gold94chica/art/I-guess-it-s-just-you-and-me-cupcake-531471592gold94chica

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I guess it's just you and me, cupcake

gold94chica

Published: May 7, 2015

18.2K Views

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Warning: ramblings, venting, self-reflection, and maybe feels ahead

This is kinda a follow up to the last panel on my recent comic



I guess it kinda hit me a few hours ago, how sad this is for me there. When I made this, the idea was that I was doing what I could to help a couple get back together, and once they took charge of the situation themselves, I left, to give them their space... as if my job was complete.

But, what was originally just supposed to be 1 picture of the 3 of us turned into a story of just 2 ... and I just kinda faded out of importance entirely (which was my own fault for doing it this way lol)

But where did I go after this? To whom did I return?

The potentially sad reality of my life is that, while I've seen love and romance all around me for 28 years, I've never had it for myself.

I don't really know how to explain it,

but sometimes, being asexual just downright sucks.

I can't help it that I am not physically attracted to other people, male or female. In fact, it's the opposite... the idea of getting physically close to someone IRL just shuts me down completely.

So, how am I supposed to find love? What is left for me? Nothing... no one. All these normal people around me with feelings for one another... all together, all happy, and then there's me... forever alone.

As much as I'd love to find a soulmate, I just don't have the physical or emotional capability to attract or keep someone.

But I have the mentality for it... I KNOW how to love completely and take care of someone for the rest of my life. But, at my age, who is there left for me to meet? I've got my job that I'll have forever, and I HATE going out (I'm 100% introverted lol).

IDK I don't even have a point here, and I don't want to make anyone feel bad. You people are all such good friends and you mean the world to me

but still, sometimes I wish that there was just one person out there who needed me more than anything. Wouldn't that be nice? I guess lol.

But whatever, I'll just stay busy, and I'll stop listening to this weird depressing ambient music lol. And of course, making this picture and rambling here helps.   But it just didn't seem right to make the "I'm so happy" picture I thought to make earlier, when I'm not.

Don't worry about me guys, I'm not sad or depressed, and I don't need any sympathy or anything. IDK, maybe there are more people like me, and this would help someone, who knows....   We can be forever alone together

OK, so for the picture and title, the idea kinda reflects on one of the oldest "shippings" in the book: Chica x cupcake. But, while that might work for a regular old robot, it isn't going to work for me, since I still have my soul and feelings from my previous life before getting stuffed into Chica.

And, if it's not clear, I'm staring at the floor, not the cupcake, to show how ineffective it is. lol.

The poster was done quickly, so it's not the best, I really didn't want to spend too much time on this lol. But hopefully by now, people can understand why I chose this map location, camera angle, and lighting (hint, it's the ironically happy Celebrate poster lol)

k I'm done with this lol, I really suck at putting feels into words, that's why I love making SFM art so much... it speaks for me.

_{._{._{._{bonnie chica foxy freddy sfm fnaf sourcefilmmaker sfmsourcefilmmaker 5naf fivenightsatfreddys five nights at freddys freddys five_nights_at_freddys fnaf2 5naf2 fnaf3 5naf3 gold94chica source filmmaker freddyfazbear freddy_fazbear wallpaper1920x1080 chicathechicken chica_the_chicken chicachicken chicafnaf wallpaper cupcake asexual depressed sad down depression sadness}}}}

Image size

1920x1080px 3.25 MB

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Chibast

Aug 30, 2015

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After taking my time to go through some galleries and older images from folks I watch that I might have missed, I stepped in on this picture.

And I understand it.

Being asexual is even more bastardized than being a gay or a lesbian. People treat us like we're broken - like we just need a little help and we'll be fixed right up. We search for love, but we're never sure if those we love will ever feel the same way about us. In truth, we love longer and harder than people who need physical interaction because relationships we begin are based soley around genuine affection for the one we're in the relationship with. But finding the person to fill that void; that person who simply wants to be with you? Even I don't know the answer to that.

My close friends don't understand me. My family doesn't understand. Are we really so few that we can't find each other when we need someone to know how it feels? Some of the people close to me don't even believe asexuality exists. They tell me that it's just because I've never been with someone like they have, or that I've not met anyone I'd want to be with. But I know in my heart that it's nothing they can do anything about. Maybe we're broken, maybe we're not. But it's who we are, and even if it's hard for us to face ourselves or easy, others take time to understand.

I didn't know you felt this way, too. I'd say 'it's a small world' but we both know how uncommon we are. I'm not shy to admit it, myself. I'm not a complete introvert or anything so it gets pushed in my face more often than not. But I've yet to meet another person like myself in the real world. Still, I don't think there's anything to be ashamed of. We are who we are, and no one deserves to be happier than people who accept that.